Constipated Celeb Couple

Apropos the series of Airtel TVCs (Tele-Vision Commercials, for the absolutely uneducated Neanderthals) showcasing the ostensibly in-couple Kaif and Sareena. Er... did I get that right?

First this informative ad educates the Indian public how a Voice SMS could help propagate blackmail opportunities. I kid you not! Okay wait, let me explain what happens in the ad:

Saif uses live-in partner SRK as a sounding board once too often - in the balcony, in the bath(!), in the gym - expressing his dismay at having missed the potty for the last three days. SRK is fed up of suggesting fibre to an uptight Saif and throws punches on the latter's gut, with an intention of stimulating the intestines and ending his agony. 'Must be all the Lays he keeps munching', thinks SRK. He also helpfully stores the resulting tight-arse groan as a Voice SMS and sends it to Kareena. This dame is busy expressing her disgust at Saif's choice of laxative, to the point of hating him altogether. Notice her ill-concealed glee on sensing an opportunity to blackmail Saif by with-holding her own traditional methods from him.

The next commercial tracks Kareena trying to mess with Saif, asking him if singing on the pot is helping him with his bowel movements. She's clearly unaware of Saif's changed diet which now includes two mugs of psyllium husk in water every morning. She even mimics Saif's pained grunt on the pot. Notice the 'Yaaaaaa...'

Saif is busy designing a mobile potty seat so he can do it as he races around the Nascar track in an Aveo, and hence is visibly peeved (never mind the constipated expression). He dismisses her case with words of endearment towards his now regular morning activity. The ad ends with Kareena expressing her amazement in such succinct words, 'Ho gaya?!' (Are you done?!)

All ye constipated folks! Rejoice! There's still hope. If Saif can do it, so can you...